Friday, December 13, 2013

Dear Husband, Here is my Christmas Wish List.

Here is a list of things I wish my husband would get me. 
I love him. He is great at many many things. Buying Christmas gifts for his wife is not one of them. I am a cool mom-on-the-go or at least that's what the minivan commercials tell me. Here is what I would like:

           (pic from Kohls.com)
(pic from Victoriassecret.com)
       (pic from Aerie)

1. A new gym bag. Wanna know what I use now for my 3 times a week workouts? No, well I'll tell you anyway. An old, gold... yep, golden yellow LLbean duffle that I "inherited" when my sister moved away to college in oh 1998. I would suck it up and use it without whining but the damn thing slips off my shoulder when I am sherpa-ing my children to the proper classrooms in the morning. Think sporting goods store or department store.
                                                                 
2. Cute PJs. In the immortal words of Miranda Hobbes.... "The jig is up, I have a child." I don't want lingerie right now. The word neglige just creeps me out. Chances are pretty good that my pajamas will see child urine or vommit before the night is through. Nothing super low cut so I can avoid the whole 'girls gone wild' thing at 6:30am when the 4 year old wakes me up. But alas, they must be cute. A matching tank top and shorts/pants set is what I want. Think Victoria's Secret or Target.
          

3. Undies. We call em undies. or underoonies if we're feeling sassy. Now again let's not put the cart in front of the horse here. Nothing that laces up the butt or is any material besides cotton.... and dear sweet baby Jesus, no thongs. This isn't spring break in Cabo. I am a mother of two small children. I do a lot of bending over and picking things up all day. (I love a boyshort cut.) But I do get a kick out of seeing the pairs you pick out. And when I wear them I think of you. See how cute I am? I think the Target Gillian O'Malley brand is great and my other favorites are the 7 for 26.50 deal at Aerie.

                                                             
(pic from Mommy's Time Out)
  (pic from camping-gear-outlet.com)
                                                                                         (pic from Anthropologie.com)

4. Wine. I love you, my dear, sweet husband. Wine helps me remember that at the end of a long day. Pick out something fun we can share together. Does this come in a larger size?
                                                                           

5. A good water bottle. I hoard these little mofos and still manage to lose them all. Make sure it won't leak. It should be semi cute as well. I like the Nalgene ones. This will be a good excuse for you to go to the sporting goods store.

6. Anthropologie. Anything from this store. I am not kidding. It's my happy place. Their home items are really great. Like all of their wall hooks. Is it weird how much I love funky wall hooks? Don't answer that.




        (photo from Zappos.com)
(photo from Etsy.com shop Gertie Baxter)
(photo from stayathomeartist.com)


7. Hunter wellies. Any color. Any shape. Anytime. Anywhere. They make my heart happy. And make me feel cool like Adele when I saw "wellies." Find them at zappos.com.


8. Anything handmade. I'm talking ETSY.com here. A nice cozy hand knit infinity scarf would be awesome. The love is in the details. 

9. Gift card to my hair salon/nail salon/spa. Then maybe I won't feel as guilty dropping that insane amount of money next time I get my hurr and brows managed. This is a great one too because it shows that you care enough to know where I go and who does my hair. And bonus points if my stylist catches you buying the gift card. Now I'm that client with the adorable husband. Awww.

10. A homemade book of coupons from you. Such a classic. It never goes out of style. I would take "one free back rub" or "one night out to a movie of your choice" with you over any of these other great things. Make them funny and creative and maybe a little, dare I say, sexy? And don't put an expiration date on them.